Sunday 7 July 2013

I know I'm Late to Regret All of I've Done to You, Honey

PLAK!!!
"UANG INI KUAMBIL!" Sore itu, kutampar istriku sambil merebut kantong uang yang ia sembunyikan di tumpukan baju-bajunya dalam lemari.
"Jangan, Pak!!! Itu uang untuk membayar hutang Bapak pada tetangga kemarin" istriku memelas sambil memegangi kantong uangnya yang sukses kurebut darinya.
"Halah! Kamu bisa dapat uang lagi kan?! Aku mau pakai uang ini untuk judi. Aku yakin hari ini hari keberuntunnganku!"
"Kumohon, Pak! Jangan berjudi lagi. Kita sudah habis uang banyak karena Bapak berjudi terus. Bekerjalah, Pak! Kerja yang halal, TUHAN tidak akan tinggal diam menolong hambaNYA, Pak. Kumohon" nasehat istriku sambil melinangkan air mata.
"TUHAN?! Kamu masih percaya TUHAN dengan keadaan kita yang miskin seperti ini?! persetan dengan semuanya itu!" bentakku keras di wajahnya.
"sekarang... MINGGIR KAU!"
BRAK!!!

istriku terlempar cukup keras menghantam tembok beton di belakangnya setelah kutendang dia. Lalu aku berlari cepat meninggalkannya.

Lalu tengah malam aku baru pulang rumah dan istriku masih terbangun menunggu kepulanganku.
"Pak... Minum dulu, Pak" katanya lembut menyodorkan segelas air putih padaku.
"GA PERLU!" bentakku keras padanya.
"Minumlah, Pak... Supaya menetralkan alkohol yang Bapak minum"
"A-KU TI-DAK MA-BUK!" aroma alkohol dari mulutku kuhembuskan persis di depan wajahnya.
"Ga apa-apa tidak mabuk pun, harus minum air putih supaya sehat, Pak" bujuknya lembut.
PRANG!!!
"Aku mau tidur saja sekarang!" aku beranjak pergi setelah kupecahkan gelas yang dibawakan oleh istriku.
Kulirik sedikit dia berjongkok membersihkan serpihan gelas kaca di lantai yang basah, Ya... Sebasah pipinya oleh air mata.

Setelah beberapa lama aku berbaring, terlintas pikiran bahwa memang betul kata istriku kalau aku harus bekerja. Tapi bisa apa aku?! Aku cuma lulusan SMA tidak seperti istriku lulusan D3 keperawatan. Aku sudah dipecat dari pekerjaan lamaku tahun lalu, tepat 4 tahun pernikahan kami.
Saat anak kami harus mulai bersekolah. Tapi aku tidak pernah mendapatkan pekerjaan lagi. Aku putus asa, berjudi dan mabuk-mabukan.

Tiba-tiba kulihat istriku masuk ke kamar, aku pura-pura tidur sambil mengintip apa yang dilakukannya.
Istriku naik kursi dan meletakkan sebuah kantong kain lusuh di atas lemari baju satu-satunya di kamar kami. Aku langsung tahu bahwa itu adalah UANG!

Tebersit ide aku harus mencari pekerjaan di kota besar!
Lalu kutunggu istriku tertidur. Dan saat itu kucuri uang persembunyian istriku, malam itu juga aku minggat dari rumah tanpa pamit. Aku berangkat ke Surabaya kutinggalkan keluargaku.

Keesokan paginya aku menelpon temanku yang kebetulan bekerja di Surabaya.
"Hei, Bro! Aku sekarang di Jakarta nih! Bantu cari kerjaan dong!" kataku pada temanku.
"Lho, Bim?! Ndadak amat sih?!" suara orang dari seberang telepon.
"Halah! Kayak ga seneng dikunjungi teman lu, Don."
"Bukan gitu, Bro. Setidaknya kabarin dulu kek. Ya sudah, aku coba bantu cari kerjaan buat kamu nanti."
"Sip deh..."
"Tapi kamu tinggal di mana?" kata Doni, temanku.
"Belum tahu nih, masih barusan datang ini" kataku kebingungan karena tidak ada persiapan.
"Ya elah, Bim! Dah! Elo tinggal di kost gue dulu deh sementara, kebetulan kost gue masih cukup kok untuk nampung 1 orang lagi tidur"
Sejak itu aku tinggal di kost Doni dan Doni membantuku mencari pekerjaan.
Akhirnya aku bekerja di sebuah supermarket 24 jam tapi aku bosan sekali bekerja di sana.
Tidak sampai 1 bulan aku sudah keluar kerja.
Setelah 3 bulan aku di Surabaya, aku sudah pindah kerja sebanyak 5 kali. Tidak ada yang cocok.

Tiba-tiba Yono, teman Doni, menelponku.
"Hei, Bim. Kamu katanya cari kerjaan ya? Mau kerja bareng aku?"
Aku langsung meng-iya-kan karena kami sudah akrab sejak pertama kali aku dikenalkan oleh Doni.
Yono mulai berbisnis narkoba denganku. Uangku jadi berlimpah semenjak aku membantunya menjadi pengedar narkoba.


Aku bisa menikmati kenikmatan duniawi di Surabaya dengan bebas. Minuman beralkohol berbagai merk terkenal sudah kucoba semua, wanita-wanita cantik banyak yang mengejarku dan kutiduri.
Kehidupanku berubah total, penuh pesta anggur dan sex.

Hingga pada suatu titik balik, Polisi mengedus bisnis kami yang mengarahkanku untuk duduk di kursi terdakwa.
"Saudara Bima, Anda dinyatakan bersalah dengan dakwaan mengedarkan narkoba dan dijatuhi hukuman kurungan penjara selama 3 tahun!"
Begitulah yang diputuskan oleh hakim padaku.



Menjelang akhir masa hukumanku, aku mulai merindukan istriku, keluargaku, kampung halamanku.
Kuputuskan menulis surat untuk istriku.

"Untuk Ferina istriku, (Jika kau masih menganggap aku sebagai suamimu)
Aku tidak tahu apa yang harus kutuliskan di surat ini untukmu setelah aku meninggalkanmu begitu saja bertahun-tahun lalu.
Aku hanya tahu bahwa apa yang telah kulakukan padamu selama ini sangatlah keterlaluan dan bahkan mungkin sudah sangatlah terlambat jika aku menyesali semua itu.
Tetapi aku benar-benar menyesali semua yang telah kuperbuat kepadamu dan anak kita.
Aku sangat berharap mempunyai kesempatan jika aku dapat kembali hadir di tengah-tengah kalian untuk menebus semua dosaku dan memperbaikinya.
Aku sekarang mengerti betapa besarnya cintamu padaku dulu, tapi aku selalu menyakitimu dan anak kita.
Ferina yang kusayang, kau tidak perlu menungguku.
Namun jika aku masih memiliki tempat di hatimu, sudikah kau nyatakan? Jika memang kau masih menerimaku kembali padamu, gantungkanlah sebuah boneka manusia hujan dari kain warna kuning di depan pintu masuk rumah.
Apabila saat aku tiba di rumah dan tidak menemukan sebuah boneka manusia hujan yang dulu pernah kita buat bersama, tidak apa-apa. Aku bisa memahaminya. Aku akan pergi ke kota lain dan aku berjanji, aku tidak akan pernah lagi mengganggumu dan anak kita seumur hidupku.
Salam Cintaku,
Bima, Suamimu"

Tibalah hariku menikmati udara di luar penjara.
Aku tidak pernah menyangka hari ini adalah hari yang paling menakutkan seumur hidupku. Aku takut ditolak... YA!!! Aku takut dibuang... 
Dengan rasa takut yang mencekam, aku pun melangkah ragu ke arah rumahku.
Berjalan kaki sendiri menyusuri rumah-rumah kecil yang berdempetan, diiringi oleh puluhan mata kebencian dan suara gerutu para tetanggaku, menambah perasaan gugup dan gelisah yang sudah kuderita sejak tadi pagi.

Hatiku berdebar-debar saat tinggal beberapa langkah lagi aku akan memasuki jalanan rumahku.
Aku tidak berani mengangkat kepalaku.
Keringat dinginku mengucur deras di bawah terik matahari.
Hingga akhirnya aku sampai di depan pintu masuk rumahku.
Kutengadahkan kepalaku untuk melihat daun pintu rumahku dan sekelilingnya.
Air mataku mulai menetes.

Aku tidak melihat sebuah boneka manusia hujan dari kain kuning.,,

Tidak ada sebuah boneka manusia hujan dari kain kuning...

Tidak ada sebuah...

Melainkan puluhan... Atau mungkin bahkan ratusan buah boneka manusia hujan dari kain kuning...
Bergantungan penuh di atas daun pintu rumah kami...
OoOhH!!! Pintu dan Jendela rumahku pun dipenuhi oleh gantungan boneka manusia hujan dari kain kuning!!!


Aku tahu aku terlambat untuk menyesali semua yang telah kuperbuat padamu, Istriku sayang...

Tapi Kau adalah satu-satunya Istriku yang berhati besar dan penuh kasih yang tak akan pernah dapat tergantikan oleh apapun juga di dunia ini...


Aku berjanji, aku tidak akan pernah menyesal lagi, karena aku tidak akan pernah menyakitimu lagi...

Wednesday 3 July 2013

Rainy Mornings On The First Three Days of July 2013

It's quite frustated to go to work on Rainy Morning especially when so many mudholes to avoid and ride on your motorcyles.
Rain todays is unpredictable, it supposes to be Summer in Indonesia, right?! But Rain poured on whole Surabaya's streets these 3 days. How awe is the season these last years.

Today rainy morning damn my burden. Sigh!
I haven't gotten my Vehicle License-Registration (STNK-Indonesia) from my Big Brother in Jombang.
He hasn't paid the tax and it needs his ID card to pay tax. it was his motorcycle before.
My partner that usually takes me to my Office in these 2 days, today hasn't picked me until 7:30am.
I felt desperate and decided to go myself without STNK.
I worn my raincoat, taken off my shoes and driven my Motorcycle bare footed. LOL
I know it's so reckless but what should I do?! I need to work!
I'm so lucky because no police stop me and check my STNK ha ha ha (Although I'm late 30 mins arrived at my Office) and I can go home safe also in the evening. Thanks GOD!

Thanks GOD too I'm in a good shape today although many people around me got sick because of fickle weathers nowadays.
So I suggest you, my reader to maintain your health - have your meals properly, drink enough fresh water, and take rest properly in the night, and Supplements are needed in certain condition.

Don't forget to always check your raincoat with you when you want to go to work in the morning even there's no rain but who can predict rain these days.
While I were working and wacthing the rainy sky, I remembered How I Love this Earth and all its content. But why Human like to abuse these GOD creations and even destroy them?
There so many organizations want to protect Mother Earth from dying whatever their ways.
But only one thing We need to protect our Mother Earth.
it's LOVE!
Share LOVE to everyone and everything around you, Believing in GOD always works to create beautiful moments that you can't even imagine.
1. Safe our electricity and water using,
2. Keep clean our environment,
    Separate the trash you produce everyday, to Organic trash, Plastic Bottle, Paper, 
    Other Plastic, Other Anorganic Trash.
    You even can sell Used Plastic Bottle and Used Paper to some people.
3. Don't Smoke Cigarette and Safe the using of Fossil Fuel,
4. Stop using unrecyclable materials, such as styrofoam, plastic bag, and elses.
    So Start using Paper Bag or Clothe Bag for when go to the market.
5. Start your Morning with Smile and Hope of Good Day :-)

GOD Love us, Human as HIS great creation.
So it's our turn to Love all HIS creations on Earth.
I LOVE YOU, GOD!

Saturday 29 June 2013

Busy Living for Meaningful Life

How can we Make our Life be more meaningful?

Make Dreams!!!

As many as you want to, no one can forbid you to dream, it's your own mind... Who will be able to Rip your brain and force you to stop your Dreams?!
NO ONE!
But... Dreams alone are not enough!!!
You Need to Make it HAPPEN! YEAH! MAKE IT HAPPEN!
But How?!
Maybe you are trapped with many things that you can't realize yourself or maybe actually you've already noticed that you are stuck on something.

The Excuses that usually we use are:

1. "I got no time to make it happen! I'm too busy to do my activities!"
     Taste Hell!
     You must manage your time to step further even it just a little step forward, at least you will be more confident that you probably can reach that dream someday and think "I can step further than today although my 1st step is a big failure". Manage your time to do something that can lead you to reach your dream, practice, practice, hold it and bear with it. But still don't forget to get rest, because if you fall ill, your dream will fly away.
Commitment is the best word for managing your time.

2. " I got no money! I'm poor!" and others that said Money is 
everything...
    Like I said before, "Taste Hell!"
    I know all of us need money to survive! I know money has always been an issue everywhere in the world and our limitation to develop ourselves!
but... I mean, BUT!!! There's another way to reach your dreams! Open yourself to learn from others! Ask help from others but still don't depend on them and don't ask money from them. Ask their support because it will make you eager more to grab your dream immediately.
Do something that can lead you to get closer to your dream, show your ability to realize your dream, let everyone know that you're more willing to reach your dream above everything and pray, I believe GOD will help you to open your path. Money is not everything but Money helps you in many things. So don't be so desperate about being poor.

3. "My Family againts me! I'm not allowed!" and things about 
"Permission"
    Trash! it's all Trash mind that you must throw away! As long as your Dreams are at least unharm others, Fight it! you got your own Life! "It's My Life", like what Jon Bon Jovi said in his Song.

You get your own reason to Life but still you get responsibility to make your family proud of you and happy because afterall they are your dearest family. Please don't ruin their dreams also about you. Give them understanding bit by bit about your dreams. I believe they will gradually understand that you're willing to realize your dreams and they will accept your way of thinking. Find the best time to share it with your family.

4. "I'm Useless! I don't even know if I can do it" and others of 
your thought about being not talented.
    TRASH LOSER!
yeah! the simplest thing is: "Don't even bother to think about that dream anymore! Chase another dream!" as simple as like that. But I would like better if you are still eager to do it with your all your heart content. Even if you can't reach your dream but you can share your dreams with others who have the same dream like yo do and invite them to reach that dream together. Do the part that you can do to realize that dream. You can even join "The same dream community" and it's easy to find them now in internet. So what are you waiting for? Go for it!

5. "My dream is different, many people can't accept it" and 
elses that is named rejection
     once again, I will said "LOSER!"
     Hufff... It's your own Life, Dude! Don't even bother with others' opinion!
     "I am weird! But so what if I am?! Everybody is weird in their own way!" - Stephen King
     So just be confident! Raise your arms and Fight with it! Put your Face on and Make Grinning Face to others and said that you will be succeed.
Maybe the best word is "MOTIVATION" to face this kind of situaton.

Whatever your reason is But trust me, If you do nothing to reach your dream, then throw your dream off and just taste your Hell like as before!



The Key Masters for Being Able to Step Forward To Reach Your Dreams are:

1. MOTIVATION
    Reason that arises conciously or not to perform action in particular purpose.
    So you must find your real deepest reason that make you are eager so well to reach your dream. It's allright to be different as long as "unharm others"!

2. COMMITMENT

    Agreement to do something.
    So you must agree with yourself that you will reach your dream whatever the situation is.

3. CONSISTENCY

    Obidience and Fidelity 

    to something that you have commited before.


4. HEART

    Do all things with all your heart content. Trust it if it's your calling and Love to do it.

5. COMMUNITY

    Don't forget that you got people around you. Manage your time to socialize with others but tell them not to disturb you when you need to do something without any undesirable interferences.

6. REFRESHMENT

   You Have to Maintain your Health! Physically and Psychologically.

   Have a Good Rest, Take Full Nourishment Meals, Get Socialize sometimes, Meet your physician monthly, Clean your body (taking a bath, brushing your teeth, cutting your hair), Do Exercise everyday, Travel to Good Place that can pull out your tension, Listen to Music that can relieve your stresses, and Read Good information that can inspire you more and more!


7. PRAYER

    Of course we're Human full of Flesh and we can be broken and distracted. Don't forget to Pray and Beg for HIS guidance to strengthen your motivation and commitment so you will able to still consistent in your path and do it with all your heart content, also avoid all distraction that disturbing your path.

Hope you find Enlightenment here...

He He He


Friday 28 June 2013

STEPHEN KING's QUOTEs

“Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn't carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life.” 
― Stephen King

“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” 

 Stephen King

“Good books don't give up all their secrets at once.” 

― Stephen King

“Fiction is the truth inside the lie.” 

― Stephen King

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” 

― Stephen King

“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” 

― Stephen King

If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.” 

― Stephen King


“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.” 

― Stephen KingDifferent Seasons

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” 

― Stephen KingRita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons

“There are books full of great writing that don't have very good stories. Read sometimes for the story... don't be like the book-snobs who won't do that. Read sometimes for the words--the language. Don't be like the play-it-safers who won't do that. But when you find a book that has both a good story and good words, treasure that book.” 

― Stephen King

“A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be a writer. But the only real requirement is the ability to remember every scar.” 

― Stephen King

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.” 

― Stephen King

“you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” 

― Stephen King

“Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies
.” 

― Stephen King

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” 

― Stephen King

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” 

― Stephen King

“The mind can calculate, but the spirit yearns, and the heart knows what the heart knows” 

― Stephen King

“Am I weird?"

"Yeah. But so what? Everybody's weird.” 
― Stephen KingDifferent Seasons

“As a species we're fundamentally insane. Put more than two of us in a room, we pick sides and start dreaming up reasons to kill one another. Why do you think we invented politics and religion?” 

― Stephen King

“People with a high tolerance for boredom can get a lot of thinking done.” 

― Stephen KingBag of Bones/the Green Mile/the Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

“They were close to the end of the beginning . . .” 

― Stephen KingThe Gunslinger

“Sometimes the only thing to do is to take the thing that you must have. Even if someone gets hurt.” 

― Stephen KingFull Dark, No Stars

“I was being paid to do what I loved, and there's no gig on earth better than that; it's like a license to steal.” 

― Stephen KingBag of Bones

“But it's writing, damn it, not washing the car or putting on eyeliner. If you can take it seriously, we can do business. If you can't or won't, it's time for you to close the book and do something else. 

Wash the car, maybe.” 
― Stephen King